Just when I thought I had it.

Since it’s Valentine’s Day and all that I thought I would share an amusing story that just goes to show what the true priorities in any loving relationship should be. Take note.

This conversation happened almost a year ago while I was visiting a lovely friend of mine. Now, my friend is a stay-at-home mom to two little girls. This will matter to you shortly.

Let me set the scene. It was a beautiful sunny, Hawaiian morning and it was a good time for me to just enjoy the fact that I’m kinda just killing it and hanging out in Hawaii. I don’t need no relationship! (this is what I thought before a pint-sized relationship expert drew me in for a quick dish session.)

I was re-packing my backpack. A backpack that, I should add, had a little pink flower keychain on it. This. This goddamn flower is what started the talk.

“Do you have this pink flower on there because you’re a girl?” asked my friend’s 4-year-old.

Here’s where I thought I had my chance to impart modern-day wisdom.

“Well, a boy can have a pink flower keychain too if he likes it.”

And here it came.

“Ok. So then your husband has a keychain like this too then?”

Fair conclusion.
“Well, I don’t have a husband.”
Her little face tried to hide shock and disappointment in my life.

“….a boyfriend?” she asked hopefully.

“Well, no, I don’t have a boyfriend now,” I answered. This didn’t sit well with her though and you could tell shit just wasn’t adding up.

“But does that mean YOU have to go to work?”

Now, I was disappointed in my life too.
“Yes, yes I do,” I nodded sadly.
Still, more questions were brewing.

“So, what if you want to have kids?” Ah. The question every 30-some-year-old single girl loves to hear. Should I tell her that a kid can be had after just a couple of glasses of wine and zero marriage ceremony? No. I can’t shatter her view just yet.

“Well, I have cute nieces so I can always play with them.”

She gave me a sympathetic look and sat there in silence. After some time, the real bombshell of a question shot out.

“But what if you want to play board games?”
I can’t say I haven’t considered this key element of a relationship in the past, but slamming it out there like that really makes you think. Board games. How do I play board games alone? In a matter of minutes, the attitude I started the day with - one where I was a confident, independent, traveling woman with a good job - was shattered.

“Well,” I said, trying to save my failing image, “I have friends I can play with.”

I think at this point she questioned whether I even had friends. I’ve let her down so much already.

“True,” she conceded, “but you have to leave your house for that.”